Part One: Boogers, Part Two: FLushed New!
by Vampire Crayons
Summary: Part 1:An Emmett, Jasper and Bella incident. Part 2: A mood spoiler for Edward and Bella.
1. Boogers

Boogers

**Boogers**

A shriek of joy escaped my lips. "Emmett, put me down!" I wiggled on his shoulders, futilely trying to break his hold on my legs. This reaction was only met by frame racking laughter. "I don't like heights. I- whoa!"

His large hands lifted me so that I now sat even higher up on Jasper's shoulders.

"Emmett!" I growled, pulling back two fistfuls of blond hair to use like reins. "Put. Me. Down!"

"Would you cut that out?" Jasper asked me. I only pulled harder.

Quite fed up, Jasper pulled me off and suspended me upside down by my left ankle.

"Ha, Bells! I can see inside your nose!" Emmett barked.

I rolled my eyes and twisted until I could face him with a glare. These are the benefits of spending the day with your soon-to-be brothers-in-law.

"Fascinating, isn't it?"

Sarcasm never was, or will be, Emmett's forte.

"Yeah! Man your nose is hairy."

"Yours probably has hair in it too."

And so that's how Edward found us: Emmett picking his nose while Jasper watched and laughed hysterically- causing me to shake up and down from where I still hung by the ankle.

If I was ever in doubt, the look on my love's face made it all completely worth it.

…


	2. Flushed

**Flushed**

We were snuggling together on top of my bed comforter as per usual; me cradled to Edward's side, my head resting on his chest, while he draped an arm over my stomach and breathed soothing little breaths into my ear.

"Edward, I need a human minute..." I whispered.

The silence before his reply was broken by Charlie's faint snores two doors down.

Edward traced my jaw with the back of his fingers. "No," he said with a smile.

I giggled and moved to get up but he just hugged me closer with an unbreakable hold. "Come on, Edward, let go, please?"

"Sorry, Love. You'll have to wait. I don't believe I can spare you for one moment." He smiled and pecked my cheek, trailing sweet kisses along my hairline.

I began fidgeting, making the bed springs squeak. My need was great, but the want to avoid all humiliation in front of my fiancee was greater.

I tried pulling away but he would only chuckle and plant another kiss somewhere on the exposed skin of my body.

"What is it you need so bad that you want to get away from me?" He inquired.

"Well," I said, crossing one leg over the other then switching them. "It's not that I want to get away from you... and if it makes you feel any better I'll be comming right back."

"Nope, I don't feel better at all. Tell me why you have to go... because I'm so comfortable. I don't think I'll ever let go."

"I can't tell you." I hissed, swinging my hips from side to side in one last attempt for freedom.

"You can tell me anything, Bella." He said with a final kiss placed on the corner of my mouth.

I couldn't handle it anymore, the result would be inevitable.

"God dammit!" I screamed. "I _really_ have to take a piss!"

His face registered his shock for a moment before he began to shake. I recognized the effect, it was laughter. And then before I could say anything else he bolted out the window just as Charlie barged in through door, gun in hand.

"Bella!" He yelled. "Where's the burglar?"

I covered my face with my hands. "There's no burglar, Dad. I just had to pee."

"Oh," He said relieved and dejected at the same time that he didn't get to fire his gun. "Next time just use the bathroom. I don't think the whole neighborhood has to know."

**Most likely you will see few updates from me, unless I can figure something out. I am hoping for my copy of Breaking Dawn to arrive with the mail tomorrow. (I should have had it already... grumbles, grumbles...) and I am so mad! Now would be a good time for flattery, no matter how suckish this chapter is. The Visable Dawn is experiencing some difficulties. I seemed to have forgotten the name of the document and on which computer I saved it on. My lazyness precedes me. Swing love will probably be deleted, as I am no longer in love with it, and I have a new title for Fiends of Infatuation and a new chapter I will type up and post if I don't get the book. Your loving and semi-devoted fanfic author- Leah. **


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